MovieReview

Darke Reviews | The Incredibles 2 (2018)

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In 1999 we were introduced to Hogarth Hughes and an Iron Giant. The world, as I remember it fell in love with Brad Birds creation. It absolutely flopped theatrically with a $23 million haul on a $70 million budget. It seemed (again recollection here) to gain life once released for the home market. I may be one of the few who haven’t seen it, or heard Vin Diesel in one of his earliest roles, but most of the people I talk to have very fond memories and feelings from the film. 5 years later, 20 million more in budget and the power of the mouse house, Brad Bird showed he had something special when he delivered us The Incredibles. It brought in over $260 million on a $92 million budget and is still considered by many to be a top notch, top ten super hero movie long before the rise of The Marvel Juggernaut we know and fear today. This was still the dark times, the times of Spawn and …Catwoman, and Ang Lee’s Hulk. Superheroes, super-villains, flashy costumes, a villain you could understand, and it wasn’t dark, broody, or edgy; unlike everything else in the hero market at the time. It gave us hope of a better world for our heroes; and a resounding ending  that left audiences clamoring to see more.

For 14 years.

Now, Brad Bird wasn’t idle during this time. He put out Ratatouille in 2007; which more than a few people love, but that’s a 3 year hiatus for an up and coming director in demand. Then 4 years after that, just when people were asking “whatever happened to” we get Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol; which breathed new life into the franchise and is generally loved. Here we go Brad Bird is back! We hear then he is going to work on Tomorrowland, inspired by the ride at Disney. Awesome right? Sci Fi, future tech, hope for the future?! This is our guy. Remember what he did with Incredibles?!

Then it came. We were left lost, confused, and even worse bored. While my review is overall positive on it, there are pacing issues and looking back I may have been trying to see more good in it than it deserved. Maybe not. Most folks couldn’t even manage a “whelmed” and went for under it. It didn’t even make back half its budget, which is rough on a Disney feature on a holiday weekend. In the Year of Fan4stic, it is considered (Box Office Mojo 2015 showdown) one of the most disappointing films of 2015. This is also the year of Jupiter Ascending and Terminator Genisys. Yeah like that.

Upon leaving the theatre tonight I have but one question:

Brad Bird – who hurt you?

You come back and write and direct this film, but it is missing …well everything.

Don’t get me wrong, this movie is perfectly adequate. I can tell where the money went for the cast and crew who made it. The movie looks beautiful. The camera work (yes there’s camera work in animation folks) is excellent. The actors all do the best they can with what they have.

What happened to you? The movie has no heart, no soul, no message. Before anyone goes off “its just a kids movie” – a majority of them actually do have a message for the kids even if they don’t see it. The first Incredibles is about being true to yourself and the importance of family in your life. It’s there. This movie doesn’t have any of that. There’s no growth to the characters, no change, nothing effectively learned.

The choice to pick up the movie where the last one left off was a bold one. It didn’t inherently hurt the movie, but it didn’t help it either. I feel as if our writer and director, Mr. Bird lost his inspiration somewhere. Lost his hope, because the movie is just pock marked with insecurity and cynicism. The lines of dialogue given just show over and over someone who has lost faith in the system and the world. They aren’t looking for the good anymore and just put out something with a fine shine of nostalgia and polished heroisim; it doesn’t take someone squinting to see just past the shine and see how dark the writer feels.

The movie commits one of the other gravest sins possible – it’s actually kind of boring. It has high moments, but the lull between them just goes too far. Even the action scenes just go…too long.

TL;DR?

The Incredibles 2 is a passable movie. It’s cute at times, but has significant pacing issues and runs the full two hours. You feel the run time, but the colours are pretty and will probably keep the kids from getting too restless. It relies on old tropes too much and doesn’t deliver a fraction of the heart of the first one. This isn’t to say it doesn’t try or even succeed once in awhile, but there just isn’t enough good or hope here to bring it all home

Should I see it?

Matinee at best. XD sound is good and I don’t know if they have 3-D showings or D-Box, but both might be an add if you have the excess funds to spare.

Would you see it again?

Not likely in the theatre, even with a movie pass.

What about buying it?

Maybe. Just maybe. Like I said, its cute, it’s pretty, it’s passable. That might be enough for a purchase. Ask me again in October when it comes out.

Any other thoughts on it?

It? No. The experience – yes. People lets chat. Pickles while nice at home are not theatre food. You can smell them three full luxury loungers away. I don’t know who thought these were a good idea.

Also ETIQUETTE.

We like the luxury loungers right? I know I do. You aren’t at home though. Don’t put your stank feet on the arm of the chair while you curl up and chat with your boy. Don’t be constantly shifting and kicking the chair. You aren’t at home. Other people are watching the movie too. Sit like a normal person, curl up if you want, but it’s an arm rest, not a foot rest, K? I felt bad for my movie going partner tonight. Not cool.

Now get off my lawn. (thats how I felt writing that)

 

Darke Reviews | Upgrade (2018)

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I was debating whether or not to see this due to its ableist look and literally basing all the action off of that and a woman in a fridge moment. I am not one to say if it is or isn’t for sure and I leave that to people in a better place to judge, but if you were to ask me? Yeah it is. How so?

The plot is summed up as thus. The story takes place in some not too distant future where technology is at once familiar and not and is fully integrated into most peoples lives. You can see a tenth generation Alexa, third generation self driving cars, police drones that patrol the sky, and of course everyone is tagged to be able to be detected by the drones (of course there’s a way around that too). A working class mechanic Grey Trace (Logan Marshall-Green) and his wife Asha (Melanie Vallejo) who is some form of executive for a cybernetic company run afoul of some bad people aiming to do bad things. They kill Asha and leave Grey a quadriplegic who has no choice but to watch her die inches from his fingers.  Several months later after he’s released from the hospital, and an appropriately long sequence showing what his life is like this, he begins to sink into a depression. This of course is when one of his former clients makes him an offer he can’t refuse – a chip that can be inserted into his body that would take over for the interrupt from brain to spine. With the computer chips help, that conveniently comes with an AI named STEM (Simon Maiden), Grey goes on the hunt for those who killed his wife.

There we go, everything from the trailer summed up and not a single spoiler, yet I still covered the entire setup for the movie. It cannot be denied that the movie leads in with a women in fridge moment, but so does something like The Crow. It’s worth bringing that film up since at the core there’s an element of origin stories there brought to bear, and yes, this pales in comparison to that one. But we have a mechanic and his female companion who come to cross a group of bad guys who do something horrific to both; which leads to the man coming back from the brink of death to avenge her. Pretty familiar?

As for the trope of women in fridges. Is the trope tired? Yeah, its why it is generally looked down on and writers (looking at Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick here) don’t get a by for saying they don’t know about it. Now I don’t know if Leigh Whannel the writer and director of Upgrade knows of it. After writing SAW way back in 2004 and the decade and half of films and media that have followed I can’t say for sure.  I can say in my opinion (though correct me otherwise readers) having someone else die to cause him pain is somehow psychologically less Ableist as its not the grief of his own situation that drives him but the loss of wife. Could it have been a child (see Crow 2), parents – maybe? Dog…no. John Wick did that and you are no John Wick.

So the story is problematic perhaps on a few levels. The acting is nothing really to write home about. The actors are fine, but don’t really stand out. What does stand out is the fact you can tell this was made by Blumhouse. They don’t shy away from visceral imagery when it suits the purpose of the camera. There were multiple reactions in my showing to some of the character ends.  The world the characters live in is an interesting mix of familiar and not as I mentioned before; but doesn’t quite deliver on any single aspect of it. Players of Shadowrun and Cyberpunk who see this will simply want a real SR or CB movie to come  and after Bright and Altered Carbon and now this – we need one. Badly. With someone like Fuqua at the helm, but that’s a conversation for a different post.

TL;DR?

Upgrade was a sufficient enough action film. It is far more Science Action than Science Fiction as it has no real message and the technologies presented don’t feel too unreasonable within the next 50 years. The action scenes are shot well and aren’t quite like anything we’ve seen before due to the jerky motions required for the narrative. I was entertained for its very 80’s ninety-five minute running time as was the rest of the audience.

Should I see it?

It’s too quick to ever become boring and doesn’t really suffer any editorial flaws, but as discussed above there are some problematic elements to its architecture that shouldn’t be ignored. That said if you don’t care about such things you won’t hate the thing; those who do I can say just give it a pass.

If you do plan to see it – matinee only.

Would you see it again?

In theatres? No.

Buying it then?

Undecided. It has some cool tech and sci fi elements I would use for gaming, but I don’t know if its worth the $20 for that. Maybe…ask again in September when it’s released for the home.

Not a lot of praise for this. It sounds kinda meh?

I *was* entertained and there’s some stuff worth talking about, but I can’t without spoilers. It’s above a Meh but just barely into the good category. I can tell it was shot on a tight budget and they were judicious with it so points there…I guess?

What’s next?

Well next Thursday I am travelling for work so there may not be a review; I’ll have a choice between Hotel Artemis or Ocean’s 8 if I do see something. I would probably pick Artemis and wait til the week to see 8 with some friends.

Darke Reviews | Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

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Continuing to try the new format, which is to say going to get to the point early and go into detail in a bit.

I think I am going to be in the minority again like I was with Avengers: Infinity War, except this time it’s reverse. I really found myself enjoying this movie. It felt like the space fantasy I wanted to see with a heist movie thrown in as the plot. I don’t think there’s any real character growth to be had, but sometimes that isn’t the point. It’s sometimes worth it to see the character learning the tricks of the trade even if his core nature never really changes or evolves. Seriously, its ok from time to time to use this as a narrative trick and overall they were successful here with Solo.

I know a lot of people were concerned that Alden Ehrenreich would be directed to emulate Harrison Ford and I did not find that to be true. He was directed to be his usual charming self, while playing Han Solo. Some folks may think I am biased because I really liked the kid in Beautiful Creatures, and that may be true, but it doesn’t make it less true that I felt I was seeing a young Han Solo. He came across as the hustler always just in over his head but with the skills to get himself out of it, but still always trying to play an angle. Taking the movies as the only source for him, this is part of his essential nature and they delivered on that.

Folks are already praising Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian and the praise is worthy. When you consider there’s maybe a total of 30 minutes between two films with the character of Lando they don’t have a lot to work with to deliver a younger version of the man you meet on Bespin in Empire Strikes back. Glover, unsurprisingly, delivers enough charm to light the screen for some of the weaker performances in the movie – which thankfully there aren’t many. Sadly, Emilia Clarke is one of them. The more I watch of her outside of Game of Thrones the more I find her range limited. This isn’t to say she’s bad in the film, but against Ehrenreich and Glover she’s a shadow. Woody Harrelson continues to enjoy the resurgence of his career since Hunger Games and I don’t mind one bit, he fit this world and melded with it like any smuggler I would see from the Star Wars games. Paul Bettany gets to chew some scenery and this is always a pleasing thing, especially when he gets to be intimidating and it works.

From a story telling perspective the movie does run into some pacing issues, but otherwise holds together and plays well with the universe. It helps expand the Meta of the new Disney Canon universe but doesn’t tromp all over the things that we consider Legends now. There were a few moments that made me giggle like a little girl when I saw things that were little more than trivia in 1994 when I committed the entire layout of a very special YT-1300 to memory. Yes, that was geek speak.

It is not shot like a Star Wars movie that we’re used to and that’s actually good. It expands the tricks future directors get to use and helped create some interesting dynamic action scenes that we haven’t quite seen before. It’s lit well and the effects are very well done. The downside on the technical aspects is you can tell there was another director on this before Ron Howard was brought in to pinch hit and try to knock this one home. There’s some pacing issues and some disconnects in the shots. What makes it work so well is that there is a lot of practical work here and lack of hyper saturation. It felt like a lived in world.

TL;DR (not getting rid of this, it’s almost a trademark)

Solo is a good movie. I think there are going to be people who don’t think it works and don’t find it as enjoyable. I don’t think it’s going to be as divisive as The Last Jedi was, but I think reactions will be split.

Honestly, I don’t give a damn. I enjoyed the movie. I had fun. I bounced in my chair (D-Box notwithstanding) and felt excitement watching a movie again.

Would you see it again?

Yes. The D Box was fun for it, but not necessary. XD is almost a must. 3-D probably not. Big screen though? Absolutely.

So you are buying it?

Yes. No Question

Why didn’t you use the Science Fiction hashtag you use?

Because Star Wars isn’t science fiction. It’s a fantasy movie in space. Princesses, Wizards, Rogues, daring chases and wild escapes. That hasn’t changed here.

 

Folks, the movie was a good time. This was Oceans 11, The Italian Job, or Thomas Crowne Affair in space. It gave me what I wanted to see. The cast was charming. The visuals were good. The directors slowed down enough to let moments that needed to go a bit go a bit and kept the action in a way you could understand everything going on.

I enjoyed Solo.

I hope you do too.

 

Goddess I have things I want to talk about with it too, but even with the new format – NO SPOILERS

Darke Reviews | Deadpool 2 (2018)

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Trying a new format, see how it works.

First things first, if you liked Deadpool you will like Deadpool 2. Period. Let’s put the TL;DR upfront. It’s a solid film that at the minimum meets the expectations set by both trailers and the prior film. Ryan Reynolds is still charming. T.J Miller is still a waste of digital media. This is the year of Josh Brolin, good for him. Zazie Beetz is the best and we should praise the ground she walks on as Domino. There was not nearly enough of Yukio and Negasonic Teeenage Warhead, but hey at least we have a Superhero movie who acknowledges not everyone is straight.

Honestly, that’s one of the best things about Deadpool it does and continues to do the things no other comic book movie would dare. It pokes at every facet of the other films and its supporting industry and goes “Here I am”. Seriously, think about the last time you saw an overweight hero who isn’t The Blob. Now an overweight person of colour hero, who is also a kid? You won’t find one anywhere in movies or TV. You won’t find a modern comic book movie as effectively lampshade some of the ridiculous aspects to the comic book origin stories.

The movies biggest flaw is its pacing. It really feels it’s two hour run time; which could have been saved by cutting some of the joke scenes that go on a bit too long. The Rehash that just doesn’t work. Cutting TJ Miller entirely. No seriously, the movie would be better without him. Characters people really enjoyed could have gotten a few more minutes and that might have been worth it.

That said, have I praised Domino enough? Zazie is poetry on screen and we are all better for her and the portrayal of Domino. Admittedly I have a soft spot for the character, but it was just good to see a fun, good, bad ass lady on screen where there is zero romantic or emotional B.S with any of the other characters. She has her own agency and it works.

I am not going to try to force word count here, (or anymore) , but Deadpool 2 is worth your money. It’s a fun little romp that doesn’t fall prey to the pitfalls many sequels do. It *could* have been better, but it’s a far cry better than many sequels out there.

 

Darke Reviews | Avengers – Infinity War (2018)

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SPOILER FREE – DUH

Let’s face it folks. This is the most useless movie review in history. You already know you are going to see it regardless of what I say.

Avengers Infinity War is *the* movie of the year that everyone wants to see. Few expected Black Panther to be the hit that it was (we really should have though), Solo is getting a mediocre response, do not get me started on Jurassic World, and literally everything else is sequels which while there are some fans don’t have over a decade of build up leading to their release. This is something no one has tried before at this scale and with good reason. It seems a Herculean effort, the impossible task to try to take multiple group and single character stories that largely operate on their own and put them into a single picture against a single threat.

Yet here we are Marvel has tried it. They wisely put Joe and Anthony Russo in the directors chair after the both critical and audience success of Winter Soldier and Civil War. The writers, Christopher Markus, and Stephen McFeely were also behind those two stories as well, plus The First Avenger. Winter Soldier, still easily in my top five Marvel films is an excellent story that just happens to have super heroes in it. Civil War, also is a strong story with a bigger hero presence – even if I personally have significant issues with some of the characters – the story cannot be denied and it’s solid film making. This was a good play on Marvels part and yes, this too is a well made film; but…

It has flaws for me.

Lots of them; but because I want my readers to enjoy the movie for its merits let me answer some questions that as always contain no spoilers.

Do they successfully merge multiple franchises?

Actually yes. This is a very very busy movie with a ridiculous number of locations, characters, and beats to it. It never quite feels too rushed or too slow , even if it gets close a few times.

Do they do justice to each of the characters as we’ve grown to understand them?

Honestly yes. Everyone gets a good moment of their own that sticks to the core of who and what they have been established to be. Everyone you can imagine gets an appearance and it did make me smile to see a few of them too; yet at the same time I think they spend time with all the wrong characters. The ones who get the most focus are the ones I care about least.

How is Thanos?

Josh Brolin absolutely brings it and anything else verges into spoiler territory so you’ll have to chat with me in the comments section on him. He Looks Great! He is a SOLID Villain. I am happy to see him.

Is there anything else you can share that doesn’t even hint at a spoiler?

There’s not a lot I *can* say about it. The money sunk into this movie is on screen with absolutely nothing wasted. The visuals are surprisingly solid with the raw amount of CG on screen at any given time; and show just how far they are pushing the technology.  The fights left me something to be desired as they are very busy which detracts from most of them unfortunately as I couldn’t really see who was who and there were too many cuts to other places.

TL;DR

I hope you truly enjoy this movie. I really didn’t. It is in the solid middle for me on the Marvel films. I don’t actually *hate* it in any way – which is an important distinction from things like Age of Ultron or Iron Man 3. I just don’t have any emotional connection to it whatsoever and that is why it fails for me.

The ultimate telling thing to me is that the audience in my showing was stone quiet even after the credits rolled. Not a gasp, not a tear, not an applause. Just quiet. So maybe I am not the only one? There *are* good things to it, I covered some above. There are others that are cool too, but they are moments in a whole cloth that just doesn’t do it for me. They aren’t enough to save it even if in those moments it engaged me like nothing else in the film did.

I hope you enjoy The Infinity War and it lives up to every expectation you have.

 

 

Darke Reviews | Rampage (2018)

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The video game movie. A long Hollywood tradition of pain and misery, with rare gems rising to the top of a pile of well something. Much like I opened with on Tomb Raider a few weeks ago there are video game movies that don’t suck; that said they usually have a story to them. There are only a few movies based on games started in the Arcade first; and we don’t talk about Double Dragon in polite company.

Yes – thats The Chairman on the right…

The hair. The eyebrow. It’s too much dahling.

So here we have Rampage. Someone, somewhere thought lets take the game of three mutated humans turned monsters beating up Illinois cities and turn it into a major motion picture event. Then someone else said “Ok. Here’s $50 million dollars.” I think I am in the wrong line of work some days when I point stuff like that out.

So should you insert a coin to start?

The movie has a total of four writing credits thus invoking my Rule of 3 for writers rooms. The story was by Ryan Engle who disappointed me with The Commuter and Non-Stop for Liam Neeson. Engle also gets a screenplay credit with three other men. Carlton Cuse (San Andreas, Brisco County Jr., Colony), Ryan J Condal (Colony,  Hercules), and Adam Sztykiel (Due Date, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip).  With this combined pedigree and multiple writers on a concept such as Rampage, this movie should be an absolute train wreck with wildly shifting tones, weirdly spliced scenes, and cringe inducing dialogue; and somehow its not.

Rather than humans who mutate into the monsters, they have animals mutate into significantly larger aggressive hybrid animals. The humans should be and largely are second fiddle to the creature carnage the movie brings. The dialogue is not much, but a few of the lines really work and will make you laugh – especially with some of the delivery. This is not a complex movie here and the concepts are simple and the writers played into those strengths to their benefit with only a handful of human driven moments that do “ok”. The real surprise was the fact the movie addressed consequence for actions (karmic and otherwise) a few times and left me and my partner for the night rather pleased.

Now the humans themselves are, ok its the Rock, you just want to see the Rock. It’s all good. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is charismatic as ever here, knows full well the movie he is in and delivers everything the trailer promised you and more. Naomi Harris does well with her role as a Doctor who had her hand in the creation of the mutagen and she  holds her own with him. The final standout is Jeffrey Dean Morgan ( Supernatural, The Walking Dead) who also knows what sort of movie he is in and goes for the most fun, hammiest – yet entirely in world and in character – performance he could. He worried us at first, then when they let him cut loose he just is all kinds of fun.

Director Brad Peyton (San Andreas, Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore) clearly has a love for mid and late 80’s action movies. He shoots sequences that are nothing short of absurd but played straight, and straight sequences with a sense of humor. There’s an early scene (non spoiler dont worry) where a guy is handed three weapons in the span of a minute walk from his car to a chopper as if its nothing, all the while some action hero music from Predator or Commando plays in the background. If you pick up on it – you’ll laugh at the ridiculousness of it, if you don’t you will be rolling your eyes at just how close to over the top it is.

This of course brings us to our creatures, Lizzie, Ralph and George. They look GOOD. Yes, you know they are CG, but the effects team blended them into the real world rather well. Your brain tells you this is computer, but it is interacting with its environment like its there effectively. The people in that environment look part of the scene (most of the time) as well. Its good use of colour correction where they brought up saturation levels just right.  While were on the topic of technicals, the action is magnificently glorious and easy to follow. There sound designers deserve a raise as during loud sequences you can often hear someone in the background saying something entertaining. You will find plenty of game easter eggs as well to a pleasing degree.

TL:DR?

Rampage gave me everything I wanted and a good bit more. This is the grab the popcorn and a drink of choice, sit back, turn the brain off and enjoy for an hour and a half. There’s not much more to say about it – it is just sorta fun and kept the promises the trailers made.

So should I see it?

Yeah. It’s a good time at any price. I would be curious how DBox or XD sound plays with it, I think they’d enhance the experience.

Will you see it again?

Being honest with myself, probably not in theatres, but before you ask yes I am going to buy it.

So the video game movie is good?

Yes, because it doesn’t try to rise above its overly silly concept but also doesn’t deride it either. It embraces it and all its merits and flaws and runs with it with abandon that should be cherished. It’s not quality cinema folks. Some movies can just be there to purely entertain and this does that in spades.

If you have the time and inclination go on a Rampage this weekend.

 

Darke Reviews | A Quiet Place (2018)

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I have to admit from the initial trailers I’ve been excited for this movie. John Krasinski directing isn’t what did it, I have never watched, nor am likely to watch an episode of The Office. I don’t think I’ve watched a single thing he’s starred in. Emily Blunt is always a gift in film and to be fair is a draw here. No, what got me was the premise. A horror movie with a creature that attacks based on certain types of noise and sound. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Sure the Descent has creatures that *should* hunt that way, and The Cave has creatures that use echo location, but none of them explored fully a creature above ground that stalks and kills its prey if it makes noise. I specify above ground because yes, the Tremors films “Graboids” do hunt by sound. The set up here is different with a clear intent to invoke raw tension in the viewer.

I have a mouth and should I scream?

Yeah ok not my best lead in question pun, I just wanted to get to writing on this. Feel free to suggest better ones in the comments on Facebook. The movie was written by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods. The two have been collaborating together for well over a decade on various shorts and a single TV movie with this being their first theatrical feature film together.  Krasinski nabs a screenplay credit for any changes he made on set while directing. As I am not familiar with any of the pairs prior works, I can’t comment like usual on trends or patterns in story. What I can say is they provided us something that horror does better than almost any other genre; a tight focused character piece. The trailers tell you all you need. We have fast moving creatures that hunt day or night at the slightest of loud noises. They apparently are very strong and due to the near post apocalyptic feel the movie sets up very difficult to kill.

Can you imagine living in a world where you can’t speak to anyone around you? It’s entirely possible for me to go from the end of a work day on a Friday to the Monday morning without uttering a word or hearing another human voice. It happens quite a bit. I know how that leaves me on that morning and I cannot fully appreciate or realize what going days, weeks, months, or even years would be like. What does it mean to survive like that? With a family? With children? Is it even really living? The movie probes into these topics just enough with the charming backdrop of an upstate New York farm and monsters waiting for the kill.

I often pick on films for introducing concepts and not exploring them fully, if at all. This one introduces several fascinating concepts in horror and humanity and delves just deep enough under the skin to leave you thinking about it as the tension rises. Tension being something Krasinski as a director did extraordinarily well. Much as I tear into films that don’t have good rises and falls of tension, this one is like watching someone inflate a balloon. You see it getting bigger and bigger and you can’t be sure if it’s going to pop. Every now and then, a little air is let out letting you breathe for a moment, but then they get right back to it. It works.

With a small cast of four people everyone has to be on their A game to sell the drama underlying the horror. Blunt and Krasinski do their parts well, but with Emily this is to be expected and it’s clear John has talent to keep up the game while also being behind the camera. Noah Jupe, does well enough as the pre/early teenage son Marcus, who is trying to understand his place in the family and the world. Millicent Simmonds, who plays the eldest daughter Regan who is deaf, does a great job getting both the angry and slightly rebellious teenager while still respecting the rules of the movie.

There is also one other critical factor to this childs role in the movie – she too is deaf. More and more movies are being called to the carpet – rightfully so – for casting abled individuals in character roles that are disabled. It’s takes away an opportunity for someone who is capable of performing a role and giving it to an able bodied person. It’s worth noting that this also comes up for those who are Queer when straight people are cast in roles that are explicitly queer. While it shouldn’t *have* to be praised for this, the casting and production of the movie *does* deserve praise for casting Millicent as a character who is deaf. I keep saying representation matters and this is yet again an opportunity that was taken to prove it. Well done movie. Well done.

From a technical perspective the production does a lot very right. It feels odd to praise a movie based on silence for its sound design but I must. There is an ingenuity at play here with the right sounds at the right times, at the right volumes. It amplified everything in the theatre. A creak of a chair. Someone shifting in the seats three rows back. This made it so when the sounds got loud you really appreciated all there was to it. The editing was fantastic with solid camera work to support it. Then of course comes the creature design. I liked it. That’s all I am saying.

TL;DR?

I really enjoyed this movie. It was good tension ratcheting horror with the right pay offs at the right times. It delivered on all it promised me and I can earnestly recommend this film to people. If Krasinski decides to keep himself behind the camera in future projects we have a good director joining the fray.  I hope we get more of Millie in future films as well. She’s already declared that she wants to continue acting and advocating for the deaf community and we should support her. I really hope Hollywood does.

So I should see it then?

Yes. If you were interested, slightly interested, at all curious – yes. D-Box seating isn’t needed. It didn’t add much that I noticed to the experience.

Would you see it again?

Probably. If someone local wants to go.

Buying it then?

No question

You don’t praise horror movies this much – whats the deal?

Because most horror doesn’t try. It relies on too many old tropes or characters you really can’t wait to see die. This does none of those things and explores an idea we haven’t seen. Don’t tell me there is nothing original left and then ignore this movie.

Last thoughts?

#RepresentationMatters

Darke Reviews | Ready Player One (2018)

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I was born in the 70’s. I am a child of the 80’s. The better part of my teens were the 90’s. I had a friend with an Atari. I had the Nintendo, the robot, the gun. I remember all the Saturday morning cartoons and weekday ones. I remember hundreds of reruns of the cartoons and shows of the 60’s and 70’s. I spent a summer watching all of Lost in Space since it was on syndication when the pool I went to every day was closed. I did plenty of things on my bike, in my neighborhood, and with what few friends I had I consider reckless and can’t explain beyond “it seemed like a good idea at the time.” I was unbeaten in my high school at Star Wars trivia (ooh big title I know! shiver in despair *rolls eyes at self*).

I’ve also been riding the pop culture surge like everyone else. So this movie is all but made for me and everyone like me, with its heady dose of pop culture and nostalgia that the trailers promised.

Should you play the game though?

The movie is of course based on the landmark novel by Ernest Cline of the same title. Beyond that Cline is probably best known for his script for the Star Wars buddy road trip movie, Fanboys that was released 2009. Fanboys, like Ready Player One focuses on people who are obsessed with pop culture though that one is specific to Star Wars, RPO goes beyond that….way beyond that. Cline himself was hired for the script, which levies most of the “Its not like the book” arguments mostly null, and Zak Penn was brought on to assist. Penn is a mixed bag for me as a writer. His first script, which is a fan boy view of a film genre, The Last Action Hero gives him good credibility to be here alone. That said, he is also on the script for X Men The Last Stand, Elektra, and Inspector Gadget.

The story is as the trailers promised. Bland Token White Boy with SuperHero origin is an obsessive gamer who absorbs pop culture like most people breathe.  He and millions, if not billions, of others are trying to find the literal keys to the Kingdom of a virtual world; racing against the evil big business IOI (eye oh eye, not one zero one) who wants the kingdom to well monetize people. The movie is a touch prescient in that regard considering recent news stories about data. Along the way he meets and makes friends, rallies the Oasis, …and….well any more I’d be spoiling right?

The movie is absolutely generic in its plot. It’s not quite the heroes journey, as it doesn’t have enough of a fall in it, but it plays out with more than a few beats lifted from A New Hope. It exists. It’s fine. It does no real harm and has no real weight to it. There’s no real risk involved or felt for our main hero and while the movie without question celebrates the history of pop culture from the icons, to the music, to the actual history, it doesn’t put any real gate keeping on it. The phrase I dreaded hearing never came up. “Only true fans” ….Goddess I hate that phrase. The success of the hero isn’t his alone and there are other factors that keep it from being an absolute gatekeeping boys club. It honestly saved the movie for me.

From an acting perspective, Tye Sheridan (X-Men Apocalypse, Scouts Guide to the Apocalypse) as Wade Watts is as bland and forgettable as they come. He is so generic that he makes Kristen Stewart in Twilight look positively animated by comparison. I think this is by design. I hope this is by design. What likely isn’t by design is his total lack of chemistry with Olivia Cooke (Thoroughbreds, Bates Motel) who plays our female heroine Art3mis. She should have been the lead. We should have followed her. She’s dynamic, she’s engaging, and one of the more interesting characters. I’d watch a movie with her and Aech alone. The actress tried her heart out to do something with him, and nothing. I’ve been looking at photos of them all at press junkets and tours. He looks so bored and unengaged, while she is electric. The same goes for their characters. The epic speech from the trailer? Yeah it’s there. It’s like that.

From the other characters the only real standout I can mention is Ben Mendelsohn (Rogue One, Slow West). I feel like they took all the feedback given about his attempt at villainy in Rogue One and made that a character. It made him easy to be in the role, but he’s otherwise…unremarkable. Others exist, one is slightly above the rest, but they are otherwise also…unremarkable.

Visually. The movie lives up to its hype. It’s Spielberg doing literally what made Spielberg Spielberg (this is such an odd sentence and represents much of what is wrong with the English language). This is literally what a PG-13 version of VR could and probably would look like. The PG-13 is important. I’ve seen Second Life. I know what happens when you get to R. The CG is allowed to look CG there and it works with the lighting choices Spielberg always makes. What impressed me most here in the Oasis action scenes is how busy it all was but you could still follow the action you wanted to. Just when it would edge on too much or too hard to follow they would slow it down and let you get back on the road. This is Spielberg here as we’ve seen lesser directors leave shots like these a mess. That same logic holds true through the rest of the film’s main sequences giving you just enough chaos to look right, but enough room to follow said chaos. It gives you the time to see the cameo (barely) and move on.

Yes, the cameo’s. The trailers didn’t show us everything. Yes, you will still geek out when you see them on the big screen. Also in the technical win department is the music by Alan Silvestri. Composer of easily one of the greatest themes ever, Back to the Future, he channels that skill once again and provides the epic. The soundtrack that accompanies is also appropriate for the film. Beyond that though is a plodding editing that leaves the movie running over two hours and starting to feel it at the 90 minute mark.

TL;DR?

Ready Player One is absolutely harmless pop culture and popcorn fair. It is a bland, unremarkable story of bland unremarkable characters doing things we’ve seen a hundred times before. What keeps it afloat is that love of pop culture with technical masterwork and that’s what will get the butts in the seats for it. It won’t keep them long though. It doesn’t have anything more to it.  It’s a visually arresting film that does everything it can to make up for the deficit the material and acting have.

That’s it. It’s Ok. It’s not bad (again thanks to the FX and Nostaligia Glasses) It’s not great or genre redefining. It’s the first real popcorn movie this year and it’s overall just there. I laughed a few times, I did enjoy myself so it came out better than I was expecting.

Should I go watch it?

Yeah, why not? Grab some popcorn, a coke, relive the nostaligia. Escape for a few hours. The real world will be there, and the movie won’t do any harm.

Will you see it again?

On the big screen probably not. I couldn’t tell if the 3D helped the movie, but it didn’t hurt it either.

On the big screen eh?

Yeah, I am buying it. I like hundreds of others obsessive geeks will buy it. Then rip it. Then go frame by frame to look for all we missed. Ok. I probably WON’T do that, but it crossed my mind. Though when I do buy it, I expect a lot of pausing to go hunting for my own little Easter eggs. I know they are there.

Anything else on the movie?

The product placement. Oof. I should be offended, but somehow I am not. I think just the nature of the movie made the Pizza Hut and Doritos and Tab just…make sense?

Have you read the…

Have we met? of course I haven’t read the book. It’s kinda a thing with me and movies.

So what next?

Next week I plan to see “A Quiet Place”, then Rampage after, a week off, then Avengers Infinity War.

 

There it is folks Ready Player One. It’s OK. Considering the rest of this year so far, that’s pretty good. This could have been a lot worse.

Darke Reviews | Pacific Rim Uprising (2018)

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I love the original Pacific Rim unapologetically. Giant Robots. Giant Monsters. Fighting each other. Characters told with broad, but immediately recognizable strokes. A new feminist icon and “test” for movies in Mako Mori. Idris Elba. Robots that moved and felt like they were giant robots. Shots that helped you feel how massive these battles were and provided a sense of scale that *this* was bigger than life. It is absolutely ridiculous popcorn fare and few people who love it claim otherwise. It is *FUN*

So why did they get the sequel so wrong?

TL:DR

This movie isn’t worth a thousand word count review. I loathe it. I despise it. It is just bad. You know those Syfy movie of the weeks? This is what would happen if one of those was made with a budget. A needlessly complex film without focus on any of the interesting plot points they bring up. This is two movies, maybe three, put into a blender and spat out at the audience by an angry llama who understands the concept of disdain. It ignores any concepts of focusing on characters like the first did and instead jumps from beat to beat and character to character to the point we don’t care.

They ignored nearly every rule of the characters they had from the first. They also ignored the rules of the world they had set up as well. The fights were BORING. That’s right, the fights were boring. Full stop.

I think this is what it feels like to know that a studio has contempt for the audience. To see it written on screen in every action they take.

Yes, Boyega is fine. He does his best and it almost helps. Almost. Please stop trying to make Scott Eastwood happen, Jai Courtney is more interesting.. I know his Dad seems to have too much of Hollywood under his thumb, he’s almost 90. It’s ok to say no to him.

Actual Picture of Scott Eastwood….thats not fair. This is more interesting.

So should I see it?

NO! Absolutely not. This is a garbage fire sitting on toxic waste trying to be put out by raw sewage, then presented to you as if it were a three course meal.

So uh..not seeing it again?

No. Nor buying it. Don’t even ask the next one.

Really? That bad?

My partner tonight and I spent the entire time on the drive home tearing into this like starved hyena’s. I think we were being too kind.

Tomb Raider tried, got the characters right but was boring. Death Wish was a direct to DVD movie that was tone deaf. Winchester at least tried for atmosphere. This bites is thumb at the audience with how it treats all of its characters.

Ok. SPOILER Roll over section

STARTS HERE

They kill Mako. First 30 minutes. I nearly walked out then, but the young girl Cailee Spaeny looked interesting and was trying; and they may have developed a plot around her and Boyega. Nope. They sidelined, then killed Mako in the least interesting way possible and instead we get nothing from any of the female characters of any note other than weird inconsistent arcs and one that could have been replaced with a lamp because she *literally* exists as an object for the men to desire and serves no other purpose.

ITS OVER

I hate this movie. I feel contempt for this movie. Do not see it please. You deserve better.

Darke Reviews | Death Wish (2018)

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*sigh* Movies do not exist in a vacuum. They exist as snap shots of culture, whether in the form of parody (comedy), our fears (horror), our hopes (science fiction), or in some cases wish fulfillment (action). These of course are generalizations of the genres and what they represent as you look at the passage of time. Not every movie fits neatly into that or you can mix and match to your hearts content. I’ve talked about how this applies specifically to horror movies in other reviews and that there’s a cultural shift to the idea of home invasion being one of the major themes in modern horror. The faceless killers, the victims, and eventually the final girl. There’s even a half dozen movies this year in that particular subgenre of horror to reinforce this. What does this have to do with Death Wish?

First – Pause here. I cannot write this review without touching on politics. I almost didn’t write the review because of it. Movies and the subsequent reviews do NOT exist in a vacuum and I have to touch on some topics beyond opinions on movies. If you do *not* want to read any of that skip to the TL;DR.

Skip.

Skip.

Skip.

Ok.

Wish fulfillment. Action movies in the 70’s began the narrative of a good guy with a gun, with the original Death Wish (1974),  then of course Taxi Driver in 1976. Beating the crime on our streets as an every man. The 80’s action movies were over the top gung ho Rah-Rah films that were there to make us feel good and that we could always beat the bad guys, even when they are countries. 90’s action movies are hold overs from the 80’s with more grit and our broken hero. The past decade and a half the biggest, and most successful, action fare in the western market is superheroes. We want to be them. We want to be beautiful/handsome, have powers, and kick ass with little to no consequences.

It’s ok to want that too. None of it is a crime to want to be more. To be the one who makes the change. To be THAT guy.

When it stops being want and starts becoming do – then it’s a problem. In today’s world this movie is in nothing short of bad taste. It was delayed due to Vegas, then they release it anyway a few days after a school shooting. Take the hint. Stop while you are ahead, release it straight to DVD like it looks like it was made for anyway.

From a purely production standpoint. This is bad all the way around. Willis is the least compelling character in the movie and his acting is so bland and so dry it made the Sahara Desert look like the middle of the pacific ocean by comparison. He is absolutely the worst thing in this movie. He had no charisma, no charm, no emoting of any real caliber; which is in stark contrast to Vincent D’Onofrio who was literally the only one in the cast trying. The character of Paul Kersey just did not work this time in any way shape or form either. In the original he was an architect and a conscientious objector. He had no skills for this and actually had to escalate from a sock full of quarters to the gun and then it was a simple revolver.  Making him a surgeon in this one gave him useful skills for what he was doing. Gave him the ability to try to mask his tasks and assets to use to enable his plan. He didn’t come across nearly the amateur and then there was no escalation of the character into the killer. They took away anything that made Kersey an interesting, if not flawed character, and replaced it with bland. That’s without getting into the political aspects of the character in 2017. The attempt to lampshade the appropriateness of his actions with colour commentary by local DJ’s on morning shows is severely weakened by the fact it just rings hollow.

TL;DR

This movie sucks. This movie absolutely sucks.

It is timed badly, it is made badly. It is in poor taste. It just is awful in every aspect of its production and release. I would say the studio and the director Eli Roth should feel ashamed, but they won’t. They don’t.

If you want to watch a superior version of this film, set modern, that turns the lens onto the character itself, while escalating and still providing that visceral thrill and sense of wish fulfillment. Watch the 2007 film Death Sentence with Kevin Bacon. It is an actual sequel to the Death Wish Novel and then adapted into a movie. It works. This does not

I am skipping the usual outtro here, as this review is late. I’m not even bothering to attach the image. It’s that irritating.

This is a bad movie that shouldn’t have been released.