Darke Reviews | Justice League (2017)

This is probably one of the most anticipated or dreaded reviews this year.

*sigh*

*heavy sigh*

Can I just re-watch Justice League (the animated series) and review that instead? I suppose not; since that would just repeatedly talk about how even it’s weakest attempt is greater than many TV shows and movies best attempts. Justice League Unlimited – I mean it had some weaker episodes, but even then most of their episodes are still better than most TV we get – and their greatest episodes just down right heart breaking and or epic. If you look at my reviews for the prior DCEU films, you will see I raved on Man of Steel at the time – I blame the initial hype; but I still believe we need a world where we can look up in the sky and see a Superman. We need that sort of hope these days, it is in short supply. Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice. Even the extended cut, which I have watched the add-ons from don’t help enough. I still will defend Suicide Squad, even if its editing is nothing short of a train wrecking into a train wreck with a cruise ship. Wonder Woman is near perfect (for the DCEU). Don’t you speak ill of her or it – I will fight you.

So where does that leave us? Justice League. Right right.

Is Justice League the final nail in the coffin for the DC Extended Universe?

I am going to structure the review from here on out a bit different than usual so bear with me while I try this out.

Screenplay: Zack Snyder, Chris Terrio (Justice League, Argo), Joss Whedon.

Whedon ends up getting a credit due to the reshoots, with him as a director. I will absolutely not allow anyone to bash Snyder for stepping away from the project when he did and for the reasons he did. I will absolutely bash Snyder for the work he did leading up to it. The script is a mess. The story is convoluted and ultimately as hollow as the rest with of course earth shattering stakes that will have no lasting impact, no risk, and no one you actually care about. The add on scenes for Themiscyra are just short of offal; which is to say it shouldn’t have been used, but if it had been done by a better cook it wouldn’t have been awful. It does bother to slow down and give a few character moments but they seem so out of place against the others that if they were part of the original script and shooting it makes the movie worse. If they weren’t it adds a redeeming quality, but they don’t fit tonally or even in how they were shot and coloured. Snyders vision still sucks and there were small overtures to move from that in how the story played out, but not enough to salvage this.

Actors: All of them I think. Breaking it down by main characters shall we?

Affleck is still a good Batman and Bruce Wayne and while they lift some scenes from Justice League the animated he works. He is also given some ridiculous dialogue to have to work through and some repeats that make him look like the worlds greatest idiot than detective but I don’t blame Affleck as much as the aforementioned script. I honestly hope he comes around on the stand alone film he can do it.

Gal Gadot is perfect. She also plays Wonder Woman really well. The problems with this Wonder Woman vs. the standalone come down to cinematography. Could you not put her in skin tight pants and stiletto heels? In one scene I thought it was Catwoman or her character from the 5th Fast and Furious movie not Wonder Woman. She is an (beyond) attractive woman, yes, but we don’t need almost every single intro and outro for her being a butt or legs shot. She has a face – focus the camera there ok? Thanks.

Henry Cavill. This isn’t a spoiler folks – he’s in the bloody trailers as Clark. *sigh* There’s going to be a day where you get to have fun. I saw part of it here. Part, and it’s enough for me to want to see you finally get to play Superman. Well done sir for trying to rise above the limitations and be charming.

Ezra Miller as the Flash. He isn’t Grant Gustin, which we covered why not in the BvS review. The idea that Gustin wouldn’t fit is odd with what they did give us for him. I *think* they were trying to get him to play someone who wasn’t neurotypical, on the spectrum somewhere, but I can’t be 100% sure. He is very ok as a young, just starting out Flash. They use him for the comedic beats well enough, but I am a harsher judge there. I didn’t hate his performance by a long shot, but it didn’t blow my skirt up. I don’t think they knew how to use him as a character well, which isn’t on Miller at all it just didn’t give him enough to work with beyond the comedic expression.

Jason Mamoa as Arthur Curry/Aquaman. Yes ladies, he is very pretty. The character I saw was Jason Mamoa playing Aquaman, not Aquaman. He came across as a half drunk biker with aquatic capabilities. Even the one scene with Mera (Amber Heard) shows him more as a rogue than a ruler. I am pretty sure I know what they were going for by the very bad dialogue they gave Heard, but its so rushed its hard to tell. This was more similar to his performance in the really bad werewolf movie “Wolves” than it was an Aquaman. Is it him or is it the script and directing. I am not sure, but I wouldn’t hold out hope for a great Aquaman stand alone film based on this.

Ray Fisher as Cyborg is literally a deus ex machina. Again he tries but the script and directing here is like a black hole swallowing anything greater than itself; and I feel bad for Fisher. He is just fine, but the overly computer look for the costume just looks wrong. I want to shake Weta Digital who actually seems to be regressing and point them at Robocop, which came out almost 30 years ago and looked better as a half man half machine. You can do Cyborg with practical then enhance with digital. The all digital did not work. If there was practical at all it was lost, like Fishers performance in distractingly bad graphics.

Ciarán Hinds as Steppenwolf, well his voice. The voice is fine. Absolutely nothing else works here. The look is awful, the dialogue is worse by a hair. Just no. Honestly, as I think about it, they may have reused the skeleton from Incubus and El Diablo from Suicide Squad for the underlying animations for him – this is not a compliment. It looks recycled and honestly bad.

Technicals: Graphics – Weta Digital, Rodeo FX, Double Negative, Scanline VFX.  Music – Danny Elfman

The good – Danny Elfman. Mr. Elfman, I have found you haven’t grown in your work in some time, but here you did as well as anyone possibly could. But there’s one piece of magic you wove into this that lifted my spirits. Hearing the chords of the original Batman and Superman themes, even for a few bars was enough for this geek girl. Thank you.

The bad – The graphics. Just…no. No. No.

                                        My face during most of this movie.

I totally appreciate the amount of time, skill, and effort that go into animating a single frame. I totally appreciate that it is *not* an easy art form; but when it was the end of the day, when it was closing in on the end of the project did anyone look at the final product and go “can we have another week? Please?”. If I know my artist friends well enough – they did. They were told no, or were given unrealistic deadlines to complete the work. Perfect is the enemy of good enough but I would ask the executives at Warner Bros to please consult the following ven diagram. This is presented in the form of a chart to ensure you understand. Please refer to this on your future projects as I can tell it will help.

 

Here is a small list of what is wrong: Physics fails, even by superhero standards. Corn. Lighting during reshoots. Steppenwolf. Fight scenes that looked better before you lifted them from an Injustice video game.

Here is a sample list of what works: Aquaman standing as a massive wave hits him. Mera. Wonder Woman’s speed, though guys she isn’t the Flash.

Final technical and the worst sin: I condemn the costumer for the Amazons to walk through a shoulder high briar patch for all eternity in the costume they designed. You are the worst. The absolute worst.

(Left) Amazons as designed by a woman and someone with sense. (Right) Sense and the woman have left the building.

TL:DR?

No force in the vast heavens or all the realms could have saved this movie. The majority of it was shot and “in the can” as they say before Wonder Woman came out and DC and WB learned what works. The reshoots may have helped some on the final project and I think they did, but nothing could save the overall project. This movie was a ship that had caught sign of the Flying Dutchman and was doomed.

But….

It had some moments which were good. Not enough overall, but some.  It *was* good to see the Justice League fighting as a team. It was good to see more Diana Bruce chemistry.  There were a few more good parts as well and based on the reshoots and Wonder Woman – maybe…maybe the next one can be better.

Should you see it?

*sigh* I think you plan to anyway. Look a lot of people are enjoying it. If it’s your cup of tea I think you will get your moneys worth. If you have hated all the DCEU outings, except Wonder Woman – don’t. Just don’t. It can wait til disc or digital.

Will you buy it?

I am undecided. I am trying not to hate on it because its trendy.

Oh?

Look, the DCEU is one of the easiest cinematic punching bags there is. They’ve made it easy to hate for purists, movie goers, reviewers, and critics. Much if not most of it is deserved. But when I hear the young teenage boys and girls laughing and cheering like I did back in 1989 with Batman, which objectively is pretty bad 30 years later, how bad is this one exactly? We live in a society that is clinging to our childhoods and geek culture because its one of the few safety nets we have in a world that is largely devoid of hope or joy for far too many people. I am very OK with that (and part of it), but if we want to cling to those old fantasies, let’s consume our media as if we had as well.

This is why I still think the DCEU and Zack Snyder still have much to answer for, but finally, finally they are moving the right direction. It’s taken too long, too much money, and too much fan goodwill, but finally they are showing the faintest glimmers of getting it.

I am just afraid they (WB) will throw the baby out with the bathwater and not keep trying to get better and relax to what hasn’t worked yet.

This turned into a very long review, but ultimately it comes down to this:

If you think this looked like a good time from the trailers. Go see Justice League.

If you are expecting enough wreckage to sink a continent – give it a pass and let others enjoy it for what they can.

Also, this review is officially 2000 words, making it one of my longest.

 

Darke Reviews | Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

I was wrong about many things over the years. I have even been questioning my own reviews of late as so many mediocre movies continue to come out and I don’t have the energy to write about them. To write about another film that is so middling and ‘meh’ that it isn’t even worth the energy or time to write about it. I’ve even wondered if watching movies knowing I will review them has soured me to good films. Then I think about films like The VVitch, Victor Frankenstein, The Last Witch Hunter, Krampus, and realized that it’s not me. Noticed I left off films like Deadpool and The Force Awakens? It’s because they are both critical and financial successes. They are too obvious a target to say “see I still like movies!”. The other four films are something new, something different and something to be celebrated as they try to rise and claw and bite into the sun of something more than mediocrity. Now we are living in the Snyder-Verse when we talk about the DC Cinematic Universe. This is an important distinction to make as their Animated Universe films are some of the best comic films being made these days. The Cinematic though? People seem divided.

I called it the Snyder-Verse specifically after a comment he recently made about Grant Gustin not being right for The Flash.

I just don’t think [Gustin] was a good fit. I’m very strict with this universe and I just don’t see a version where… that (tone is) not our world.

Even if Grant Gustin is my favorite guy in the world, and he’s very good, we made a commitment to the multiverse, so it’s just not a thing that’s possible.

Source: http://io9.gizmodo.com/why-zack-snyder-never-considered-grant-gustins-flash-fo-1766285179

My thoughts on Mr. Snyder.

The most polite version of the meme I could find…

I appreciate the fact that Snyder has a vision for the films. Just as Nolan did. I appreciate that the execs at DC/WB are supporting his vision. I even will go so far as to say I can understand his vision for the DCCU. I know what he is trying to achieve. It’s easy to see in the fan service to Jim Lee and Frank Miller. It’s easy to see in the colour palette, the designs, and the characterizations. This movie is going to make a boatload of money unless a miracle happens. So he will be allowed to continue his vision for the verse and the movies will maintain their dour tones.

I really wish that he was struck blind. Metaphorically speaking…

I think his vision sucks. I think that he is really good at lifting material from better writers and visionaries and tries to interpret it as his own. There are no less than six different scenes from Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns in this movie. This is the universe Snyder is putting us in. The Batman costume is literally the same design. Some of the best Bat scenes are here and truth be told they made me smile when I saw them, but what he failed to notice was that was a Batman story first and foremost. The Superman in that story is portrayed like this

Yes it’s cheesy, the comic even mentions it but…

Giants walk this earth.

That is a Superman. That is a man people can look up to. That’s a hero. That is not what we got.

I am tired of mopey, dull, non-heroic Superman. I don’t need him deconstructed. The world doesn’t need him deconstructed. I am not a huge fan of Four Colour comics as a whole, but Superman belongs there. He needs to be larger than life. He *is* larger than life, something Good and something to aspire to. Even Batman is larger than life, and in his purest form something to aspire to. A man who has perfected his body and mind to be one of the best humans on the planet and doing what he does to protect people. (I did say purest form….)

This review has turned into a diatribe against Snyder and his vision rather than the movie.

His vision is the movie.

Long -nearly 3 hours.

Dull.

Dreary.

Hopeless.

There are slight glimmers of brilliance. Slight moments where something becomes more than the director himself is capable of. More than the story is capable of.

Those moments typically involve Ben Affleck and Gal Gadot. Affleck is one of the best visions of the Bat we have had since Keaton in cinematic live action tellings. The costume looks good, his fighting is good, how he operates works so well. He is a tired Bat, but I believed he WAS both Batman and Bruce Wayne. Gadot gave me someone I thought was a nigh immortal Wonder Woman in Man’s world. She was warrior, she was beautiful, she was intelligent and elegant. I am happy with her performance – as I expected to be. Alexander Luthor, as portrayed by Jesse Eisenberg, was hit and miss with more hits than misses. Though the misses are significant and I cannot discuss without hitting spoilers. I liked him. I bought him – mostly. His performance is not nearly as complete, as whole, as Affleck and Gadot.

Technically the movie was a bit of a train wreck. The editor couldn’t keep a single frame in camera for more than 30 seconds. I literally started counting. The CG was strong with this one and the lines were showing. When they got to the titular fight I just didn’t care. It was all spectacle without any emotion or caring put into it. Sure there were beats that had me excited but those only created emotion because someone else had done them better in other material and in another media. There were just too many other technically flawed moments through the movie to give a damn. The Batman story arc is one of the more interesting ones we’ve had in a very very long time. The Superman story arc is more of the same that we got last time with the world being too hard for the poor boy and more moping.

TL;DR?

I am not angry at this film. I am angry at Warner Bros. I am angry at Zack Snyder. I want to hate the film, but I can’t. I blame the people behind the camera. They have failed us.

Sure it’s going to make bank. I wish it wouldn’t. Sure there will be people who forgive it’s flaws and like it. I am not one of those people. We *need* to expect more. To expect better. We need to stop being satisfied with this….whatever this was.

Should you see it?

No. You will anyway, some of you will like it. I bet fans may like moments, but the whole of the film no. No you won’t.

Will I buy it?

In the bargain bin, so I can make a fan edit and remove most all the material involving Superman.

 

I am tired. I am going to keep reviewing films and trying to find the ones that are good. This is not one of them.

Darke Reviews | Man of Steel (2013)

As a warning this may be one of my longest reviews to date, but I also believe this movie is one of the few that deserves to be talked about and thought about. There are bones of contention scattered through the film by many fans and some critics and I want to lay them to rest from my point of view. So I am going to break tradition for me and give the TL;DR upfront.

SEE MAN OF STEEL. At the moment this is the absolute must see film of the summer. Pacific Rim and Lone Ranger haven’t come out so this is the movie to beat right now in every respect.

Why? That’s what you may be looking for in my review.

Director Zack Snyder, best known for 300 and Watchmen (and lamented for Sucker Punch) with writer David S Goyer (the last three Batman films, Blade films and Dark City) have departed from the hyper realism of Nolan’s Batman universe and given us the Man of Steel of this era. To take liberties with a line from  Dark Knight, this is the Man of  Steel we need, not the one we deserve.

Henry Cavill (best known for the 300 knock off Immortals), plays the titular character with all the complexity of a modern hero. He has internal anger, he has his reserve, he isn’t entirely the boy scout of the 1930’s and he has fear and he has doubts. Cavill expertly delivers the range of emotions and conflict of a man with two homes, two worlds and of a man who belongs to both and neither. An alien wherever he goes this Clark Kent is guided by his conscience and the words of his two fathers. He is a literal god among men who can shake the pillars of heaven with a passing glance and yet turns the other cheek when confronted with those he could so casually defeat. It amazed me to see the nuance to a character like this and to let him become human for the first time, not in the genetic or literal sense; but in the sense that he has the emotional frailties and concerns of man raised as a human by humans living with humans but never quite human. To quote one of the animated series, “I live in a world made of cardboard, always holding back, afraid to break something, someone.”

This is that Superman. That being said, this is also the first time ever that we get to see the rest of the line I just quoted, “Never allowing myself to lose control even for a moment or someone could die. But you can take it, can’t you big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose and show you how powerful I really am.”

He does and we are amazed. We get the slug fest we have as an audience been waiting for ever since Superman hit the silver screen. For the first time in 75 years we are treated to watching our big blue boy scout have an aerial fight. Have a fight that is appropriately epic for him. We get to see him moving with super speed and believe it. We watch him break the sound barrier, we watch him fly and we watch him be the Superman we have all been clamoring for. The effects have finally gotten to the point where we can as fans of the character see this fight for his life and the life of the planet and people he loves.

Lets talk supporting cast as there are some nitpicks many have had.
Lois Lane – played by Amy Adams (you don’t need me to tell you who she is). She is missing some of the snark and sass that we have come to know from recent animated outings and this most certainly is not Margo Kidders portrayal. This Lois Lane actually IS an investigative reporter who isn’t happy unless she’s in a free fire zone. She is smart enough to follow the bread crumbs and put what she needs together. She also shows, perhaps due to writer bias, a sense of journalistic integrity that we have lost in our media outlets; choosing what stories to run with and what not to run with. She doesn’t flinch at the strange or danger itself and all but runs into it. This makes the new Lois Lane the partner our man of steel needs. She isn’t the Damsel in distress (as much) because she is an active participant in the story. She is also the one person that can support HIM. That’s a strength that should not be undercut or under emphasized. It takes big shoulders to be the Man of Steel, it maybe takes bigger ones to be there for him when and if it is needed.

Perry White / Jenny Olsen – This is perhaps some of the most controversial casting. I only need a moment here. Get over it. There’s nothing central to these characters that couldn’t be changed. Perry is still the editor and he lets you know he is in charge. He cares for his people and his paper – in that order. Jenny -…aka Jimmy – exists, in a future film they may be more important but right now, they exist. Deal with it.

Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent. This deserves an extra moment because of a scene that was shown in the trailers. People are up in arms about JK telling young Clark “I don’t know maybe” when asked if he should have let kids die. I am not a parent, but I want you to consider raising someone for thirteen years as your own. You know full well that they are not of this earth but you have made them yours. You know at any moment people will come to take him away, take your son away if his secret is let out. You know that people are afraid of what they don’t know and that though they cannot hurt your son physically there is a lot of other types of harm that can be done. This is the Jonathan we have. A loving father who wants his son to be a good man some day, to be safe and to have no harm come to him. No matter the price he has to pay all he wants is to protect his son.

All of the other major characters in the film are played equally complex both good and evil, who believe in what they are, what they do and why they do it.

Lets talk FX and I know this is a long review. This may be one of the few flaws in the movie. They are not perfect. They made a man fly and it looks far better than it did in the 80’s with the Reeves versions; yet it isn’t always quite clean and the line of the green screen can be seen ever so slightly to the discerning eye. Does it affect much? No. Its still awesome to watch him break the sound barrier and fly across continents its just not “perfect”. There are other flaws in the FX during some of the fight sequences where I could tell CG was used in place of the characters. While much cleaner than the FX in Matrix 2 and overall better executed I could tell. I hope you can’t.

Camera work – FOR GOD FRAKKIN SAKES – STOP WITH SHAKY CAM. I am going to do a new series called Rants from the Darke and this will be my first major rant. IT ISNT NECESSARY and in fact hurts your film. The quick zooms to bring you into the action from a wide pan and scan shot into a close up are a bit jarring in 3D. I will see it in 2D tonight and hope that it’s not as bad.

Those are the two areas the movie lacks, aside from some small pacing issues and deus ex machina occurrences. Aside from that, it’s really the epic superman reboot we have been waiting for.

It leaves one final question for those who go – does the world need superman? Is Superman still relevant other than to make money for DC comics who can’t get their cinematic act together?

As many of you know I am a sarcastic witch when I want to be, I am cynical and jaded to the world and have one of the lowest opinions of humanity one can have. I say Yes to the question. The movie tells us that the S on his chest is the symbol for the house of El. It means Hope in Kryptonian. I think we need a little hope. I think that as a country and a species we are in a world of polarized extremes with only a few bright spots in the dark. That while we are not “teetering on the brink of the abyss”; that we need heroes. We need that which is good and represents the best of what we can be. That while heroes that kill are sometimes needed and wanted, we should hope for more we should want more. I think we need a hero that doesn’t kill unless he has no other choice. A hero that is there to protect the people even if it could mean his own life.

I believe we need a Superman, I believe we need a little hope. Collateral damage of fights aside, I want a world where I can look up in the sky and see not a bird, not a plane but Superman.

This movie gives me that world and I am happy for it.